100% | #30Layers30Days:Day 4

    Today's writing challenge is writing about an area where you don't feel you are showing,or putting in 100% . To answer this, I would respond with being assertive. This effects my relationships and roles in life.I still have passion and dreams  that I want to achieve, however, I am not being assertive in what  I want from myself and others as well.

    I had my first internship this summer at a reality TV production company. It was a lot more fun and laid back than I expected. At the end of the internship, after I said my byes, and my exit interview was conducted I spoke to one of my supervisors. She told me that the main advice she had for me was to be more assertive , and in this industry you need to be.  I wasn't surprised that was her advice, because I am quiet and soft-spoken. However, it stuck to me , because it was something I wanted to improve for a long time.

    Sometimes, I feel that if I become assertive to others I will hurt their feelings or strain relationships. But what I have come to learn this past month, is that if you do not become assertive not in what you say, but in your actions then you may not be taken seriously as you would like.

     As for myself, I think I can be harsh on myself with thought, but I won't sometimes take the necessary actions to improve my situations. I suddenly become laid-back and  a self-doubter. I'm learning now that assertiveness does not have to be as harsh as aggressiveness. There's no need for a stank attitude, but I should demand more for myself. I can learn to surprise people,and tell them no. Just need to tell myself to work harder and push my self so that I won't slip and fall.

      I want to be able to show the world, what this shy, quiet girl can do when she sets her mind to it. To be assertive is to also know my information, and to know what it is  I'm talking about, but I've seen confident people ramble on about things they know nothing about--anyway now I'm rambling lol!  I hope I've made my point!

Quote of the Day:
“To be great, be whole;
Exclude nothing, exaggerate nothing that is not you.
Be whole in everything. Put all you are
Into the smallest thing you do.
So, in each lake, the moon shines with splendor
Because it blooms up above.” 
― Fernando Pessoa, Poems of Fernando Pessoa




There you have it! I finished the fourth day of the 30 day challenge whoop, whoop! If you want to sign up, sign up here.  

Thanks for reading! Follow my blog for more posts!

FAVORITE MISTAKE | #30Layers30Days: Day 3

My favorite mistake, is when I learned that I was emitting bad energy to my life. I looked back into a car accident I had years ago.It was my first car and my first year of college in a different  state. A cop had smashed into me, and losing control of the vehicle I smashed into a house. Luckily, I was alive and left unscathed. My witnesses proclaimed that I was a good driver, but I really  knew someone above was watching me that day.

    I couldn't believe this was happening to me. "I'm a good person!" I thought to my self, ''why do bad things keep happening to me?" It was a mixture of feeling thankful and yet angry at the situation. Fast-forward to years later I realized that I caused the crash,

   I read Iyanla Vanzant's book..... It helped me realize that I was the one emitting negative energy and with that negative things would happen. They also talk about this in The Secret as well. During that time, i was heavily depressed, I hated my new school, I felt alone, defeated, and unsure of my future...if there was a future. I hated everyone, and thta hate grew as I walked on campus.That energy I felt towards everyone and soon myself was what probably caused the crash.

Of course, it was the police officer's fault who hit me. But if I had exuded more positivity and not hatred, my life would reflect that as well. So now , I've learned and it is one of the most important lessons I try to take with me everyday.

Quote of the Day:
“You are essentially who you create yourself to be and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making.” 
― Stephen Richards, Think Your way to Success: Let Your Dreams Run Free



There you have it! I finished the third day of the 30 day challenge whoop, whoop! If you want to sign up, sign up here.

JOY SNATCHERS / #30Layers30Days:Day 2

    This post is kind of late. School is no joke, but I am determined to keep writing. Today's post is about joy snatchers. I have had my share of joy snatchers in the past and the present. Those joy snatchers just leave a deep, smelly hole inside of you. Unfortunately, I've found out that some joy snatchers are deeper than others.

    Recently bill collecters and the lack of money have become joy snatchers.  I'm at the age still figuring out what I want to do with my life, looking for jobs while juggling school plus extracurricular activities, and right now the career that brings me the best salary is what motivates me . Before, it was finding my passion and doing that as career but it's becoming less than likely as I  become an adult. 

   Another joy snatcher is my comparison to others. I compare my weight, my looks, my friends, my career choices, relationships to others around me almost subconsciously. It does nothing but dig the hole deeper to where gnats and creepy crawlers can gnaw away as  my joy detoriates.

   However, the number one joy snatcher that definetly triumphs all is self-doubt. Whenever I try to think of hope or optimism, my past reminds me of my struggles and laughs at my efforts of bringing myself back up. I don't know if this happens to other people but sometimes it just creeps up unwanted, and I have to snap out of it. However, the good thing about me is that hope continues to glimmer through the hole.

   The things I can do to minimize its influnce is read motivational books (right now I am reading The Four Agreements ), take time for myself, surround myself with positive influences, write daily gratitudes, and immediately change my negative thoughts to positive ones.

   Mostly, however, I need to put more effort. I need to push myself, not just say but do. So that maybe next year at this time self-doubt will no longer be a factor. So, yes, I believe that I have the power to eliminate my joy snatchers and eventually the hole inside will be completely filled back up.



Quote of The Day:

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss





There you have it! I finished the second day of the 30 day challenge whoop, whoop! If you want to sign up, sign up here.


P.S- This is my 50th post yay! *busts open a bottle of champagne*

START.STOP.CONTINUE | #30Layer30Days: Day 1

  Hello everyone, this month is going to be special. I am just starting school again, and it is also sickle cell awareness month! My organization GSCW will be doing fun things this month to bring a much needed awareness for sickle cell! Also this month is GG Renee (of All the Many Layers)'s  30 Layers 30 Days challenge. I signed up for this challenges, because I love challenges and this challenge will help me through self discovery and renewal. So without further ado, here is the first prompt:


START
I want to start taking myself seriously. I want to start  communicating better. I am not sure why, but the last few months I have been cutting people off unintentionally. I have let my sadness stop me from doing things that I love or keep me from trying harder at making myself happy. I want to start determination, and start vlogging, and blogging again, you know, doing things that I enjoy again. To start taking care of my health mentally and physically and really focus on becoming a better me, and believing in myself. I want more love, more happiness, to start dating and hanging out with friends again. The baby step  I can start is checking off the list of tasks, and telling myself I can do it. I want to start my journey and never stop or put it on hold again.

STOP
There needs to be a definite stop in my procrastination. To stop thinking and saying negative thoughts about myself, or anyone. To stop expecting too much from friends and family. What I am tolerating or feeding off of is my lack of energy and drive. I think that I also need to stop wasting time and money that doesn't help me to achieve my goals, but instead hurts me in the end.

CONTINUE
To dream, and dream big, and not let anyone deter me from my dreams. To show off my talents and continue letting people know what I can and will do. I  can  also continue being nice when people test me, haha! But on a serious note, I think that I should continue to follow my goals, and to inspire myself and others as well.

Quote of the Day-
"A bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare
to the jeweled vision of a life started anew.” 
― Aberjhani, Journey through the Power of the Rainbow: Quotations from a Life Made Out of Poetry

There you have it! I finished the first day of the 30 day challenge whoop, whoop! If you want to sign up, sign up here.

To Be At Peace!

      I haven't written in a while, I tend to think I don't have time to write, but then I end up using my time pondering instead of doing. Then I realize writing is what  gets me through the tough times,  an sometimes where I just sit and stare at the obstruction going on in the world.

      My heart is heavy, as most know a lot is going on in this country whether one cares to know or not. Along with that, I am dealing with issues internally. I have to face my mistakes, and figure out where I will be heading from now. In the midst of the chaos, I am searching for peace. I am searching for  ways to deal with my problems and THE problems that are affecting most of us right now.

   Right now I am writing,it is important to take time out of the day and do something that you love, or that takes your mind off of nagging thoughts and persistent issues.

Eating, when I eat I am at peace. I am thinking of chocolate,potato chips,and pasta. I am thinking of FunYuns specifically,because when I eat  those round,salty snacks it reminds me of my childhood, and tastes like naivety. Most childhood snacks are not healthy, but everyone should relive their childhood once in a while (that's if it was good of course).

I pray, or try to think good thoughts. I may have said this before, but I'll say it again. I once asked my older Ivy League graduated cousin what she does when she is in distress and she simply stated,"I just pray". I think prayer gives people hope. I think it gives something to believe in. However, if you refuse to believe in any God, then think good thoughts and maybe it will good energy into the world.

Naomi

Find someone or something you trust, who you find loyal. Right now, I can't find that person.It's hard for me to trust one single person, it's hard for me to pour out everything and strip myself bare . So I have a dog. Her name is Naomi, and she gives me peace by simply being and doing what dogs do: be loyal. If I didn't have a dog, I would look up motivational speakers online, evangelists.,or just read something inspiring enough to trust.

Take action,eventually. To stop chaos action must be taken. When chaos starts, you know that procrastination must stop and that  the time to do something is now! This is the one  part I have been having a hard time accomplishing , but eventually I know that I will take the courage and the will to change what needs to be changed.

 


 I would love to hear what makes you at peace. So maybe, I can add it to my list.

I'm Black And Can't Dance

  I cannot dance, and I am black! I am black and cannot dance. I realized this phenomenon when I was much younger. After watching Beyonce's "Crazy In Love" music video I tried very much so to do the "Uh Oh" dance. While Beyonce and her dancer's looked like fierce energizer bunnies, I looked like I was trying to fight off a seizure. Fast forward to my eighth grade farewell dance and  I, along with another person of color who could not dance, leaned back against the wall while I watched my peers grinding and freaking on each other ( yeah the supervisors did not do their job). While taking breaks from watching what looked like a music video on 106& Park, I ate some cotton candy, some  ice cones chatted with some friends  but the distraction was still lingering.

   Why can't I just dance? This eighth grade farewell dance is a once in a lifetime opportunity to dance and have fun with my eighth grade friends . I felt alone, shy and awkward. Suddenly, I threw away my ice cone ( in a recyclable trash can), and marched right onto the dance floor. There was just a crowd of overly hype, sweaty kids and I made my way through them. I stopped and told myself that I will just dance for ten seconds just to say that I actually danced at my eighth grade farewell dance. So I did it, I danced like a beheaded chicken, and once the ten seconds was over I looked up to see if anyone was watching. I looked at one side of the room and mostly people were still dancing and grinding on each other *phew*! I look at the other side of the room and there was this one girl just staring at me, and smiling mischievously like"haha girl! I saw that!"

  Now in present time I still can't dance, I've gotten a little better, but I prefer to dance when I'm in my room by myself. However, if I get invited to a club I'm going to dance even if I look stupid. Why? Because dancing is just about feeling the music and having fun. You don't have to be a trained dancer or even have some moves to dance. Just dance to the beat as they say! In retrospect if you're dancing in public you're probably not the only one who can't dance, and most people aren't paying attention to you dancing like that, they're too busy having fun. So, there is nothing wrong with not knowing how to dance, even if your black. But if it still bothers you, you can always take classes. So have a  Happy National Dance Day to all my awkward dancers!

A Little Inspiration: Just Do You!

     “I want to do it all!” I declare to myself while taking a dump in the toilet (sorry, was that too much for you?) I want to blog, I want to vlog, I want to make films, I want to… I want to learn computer coding? Yes, computer coding! You see I have a lot of plans for myself, it may look like I am a confused twenty-something who doesn’t know what she wants but what’s wrong with that? Tyler Perry once said, “Put all of your energy into watering one area. If you spread the water across many, many seeds you don’t have as much water for one seed. So focus on one thing, make it your priority and stick with it no matter what.” Well then why do people garden, Perry? Why have one beautiful flower when you can have a garden full of azaleas, some petunias, daisies, hell, throw some basil in there as well. The more I do what I want and learn different tasks, the more I learn about myself and abilities. 

    You see, I’ve always had a problem picking just one thing to do. I mean, choosing just one major in college for example. If I had more time  I would have double-majored, can you triple-major? I fall in love with anything that fuels my soul. Anything that fizzles out my procrastination and self-doubt, and renews that spark for life is what I crave for.

   

     I realize that wanting to do many things at once can becomes daunting. However, humans are multi-faceted, so it makes sense that most would have many different passions in life. If you are a lawyer, but you want to create a fashion blog then why not have a stab at it? A screenwriter, who wants to create a game app? Okay, then! Take classes, go back to school, reach out to experts. Do whatever it takes.

   

   Only problem is what happens when the spark seems to dim? When it seems that your passion becomes work, I mean work that you have been too scared to look in the eyes. What happens when your supervisor makes fun of your soft-spoken voice in front of your coworkers? Does that mean you should reconsider making YouTube videos? Or when that big creative script idea you need to become a big hit hasn’t come through yet? Or when you don’t seem to have a lot of followers on a blog you’ve been working on for years? What happens then? Do you stop? Hell no! Wake up! Hard work  just doesn’t happen the old Disney Cinderella way that most of us were taught, but that’s okay because it’s much more fun that way.

  

  My dream is to inspire the self-doubters, the naysayers that dreams do come true. I want people to look at me and say, “If this ordinary girl can do it, so can I.” So what if you have a million ideas, and no one believes in you. At least you believe, and that’s all you need to make your first step. Now, I’m just getting started in this process but when I’m done I’ll let you know how it all turned out.

Kemi Talks

 

   Hello everyone out  there! I decided to make YouTube videos! I've always admired YouTube personalities and content creators. In the past, I would make videos but then take them down. But here I am, embracing myself to everyone in a different format! This video required so much editing, It's the hardest video I've worked on, so give a sister some love! Lol! Seriously though!

  Anyway, I am looking to make weekly videos and see how this YouTube thing goes. Thanks for reading, now watch my video!

Style Star: Julia Sarr-Jamois

Julia is a style star because she displays a good mix of edgy and casual attire. When I look at style stars, I look for someone who just has fun with fashion and it shows with Julia. She is  half French and half Senegalese and was born in London. A fashion stylist who previously worked at Wonderland magazine as an editor and now works at I-D magazine as fashion editor-at-large, according to her instagram. I remember seeing her in some blog a few years back and she has become my fashion inspiration! I mean look at her fro!  

juliasarrjamoislove.tumblr.com/

Citizen Couture

  

 Photographed by Yuval Hen & Nathan Rissman for Plastic Dreams  Issue 06 - S/S 2011/2012

http://juliasarrjamoislove.tumblr.com/

http://juliasarrjamoislove.tumblr.com/

http://juliasarrjamoislove.tumblr.com/

http://juliasarrjamoislove.tumblr.com/

         

Whose style do you envy the most? Leave a comment below, and maybe they can become the next style star!

My Trip to Paris: Journey to The Gardens

                           
 
     While some things went wrong in Paris, I still enjoyed and appreciated the experience. One of the best things to happen was my journey to the gardens. Being able to immerse myself in nature and truly relax and let go of any worries while capturing the beauty and elegance the gardens portrayed, *exhales deeply* equals perfection!

      One of the first gardens I went to was the Luxembourg Gardens. According to Wikipedia, "In 1611, Marie de' Medici, the widow of Henry IV and the regent for the King Louis XIII decided to build a palace in imitation of the Pitti Palace in her native Florence. She purchased the hotel du Luxembourg (today the Petit-Luxembourg palace) and began construction of the new palace. She commissioned Salomon de Brosse to build the palace and a fountain, which still exists."

     It was definitely grandeur like all the gardens I went to, unfortunately I didn't spend too long there and only took a few pictures:

The Palace

The Pool

  The Jardin du Versaille was one of the first gardens I explored. I spent the most time here because you have to pay to enter. Not sure how much, but it was worth it. It was like going through a maze because you are surrounded by the tall landscaping of the trees, and  geometric shaped bushes. If I weren't with my classmates I would have been lost!

  Unfortunately my phone and camera died during the tour of the Palace of Versaille so these photos  are from my friend Peta.

In front of the Dragon Fountain

My favorite, however, was the Jardin du Palais Royal. It's located near the Louvre It was created by the Cardinal Richelieu in 1633 to house royal families until the Palace of Versaille was built.  So many colorful flowers and ornate statues to drool over.

Wash and go in full effect!

Eating the La Maison Du Chocolat from the Louvre.

Awkward posing!

???

 

Can I stay longer please?

So there you have it, my journey to the gardens! What was your favorite picture? What places would you like to visit in Paris? Leave  a comment below!


















Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jardin_du_Luxembourg#History

Outfit of The Day: Patterns on Patterns!

Hello! I secretly love fashion! So I am going to incorporate my looks of the day from time to time! Hope you like! 

        

Shirt-Salvation Army 

Leggings- Charlotte Rousse

Shoes-Payless

My Trip to Paris:The Unplanned Happened

 

The Eiffel Tower as it rains outside. 

  It has been an interesting school year for me. Since the start of Spring 2014 I have been doing a lot with starting a school organization, doing extracurricular activities, hanging out with friends, and trying to maintain good grades.

  Therefore I was excited to hear that I was going to study abroad to Paris and London for a month this summer! I couldn't believe I was going on this trip, in fact I didn't tell anyone I was going ( except my family and those going with me) until  I think the day I got to Paris. It wasn't because I felt like I was dreaming, but an unnerving feeling in my gut came about when I thought about it sometimes.

  However, I, along with over a hundred students, boarded on a one way flight to Paris. It was surreal. The day I got there my roommate and I went to go and eat a nearby sandwich place. While siting outside eating croque.  (delicious French version of grilled cheese!) I couldn't believe I was there, relaxing  in the cool wind, glancing at the esoteric architecture, watching the Parisians walk by.It was surreal. 

Infamous croque! So yummy!

  Each  day  was filled with whirlwind adventures. I enjoyed eating at a crepes restaurant by myself late at night, trying escargot for the first time with my friend,  hour-long museum  tours with my classmates, and hanging out at the beautiful Luxembourg and Parais-Royal Gardens. It was bitter-sweet, because as I was enjoying my time I was bummed we were only staying for  two weeks. Besides I had already been to London when I was twelve. 

    Unfortunately, something  happened. I wrote a post about this before, but previously I was hospitalized for almost two months and one of the reasons was from having avascular necrosis. It all started trickling down when our class went on the Louvre Museum tour.The Louvre was one of the attractions of my  "Things to do in Paris list" I had to check off. Before the day of the tour, I had done a lot walking and had a tour of my own with my friends and a couple of my schoolmates. The day of the Louvre tour,I  was having sickle cell crisis (not too bad),  I took some pain medicine and tried to carry on with the Louvre tour. 

   However, during the tour it became increasingly difficult to move on. I wanted to desperately capture and appreciate years of artwork, but I started feeling ill and wanted to pass out. I thought maybe I hadn't eaten enough while taking my medicine, but when the effects of the  medicine wore off the crisis came again and much stronger. It was impossible to walk any further and I  had to sit down multiple times. 

What up, Mona? 

   At the end of the Louvre tour I was in tears from so much pain. Thankfully I was approached by a few girls from my class who saw me in pain and stayed and helped me. After eating a sandwich and taking my medicine I felt a lot better and was able to go out and eat at  "the best French restaurant"(details on that soon). 

   Unfortunately,  days later I would be in pain every day. It became harder to take long walking tours with my friends. Mostly the pain was in my hip, and one day after looking for a subject to shoot for my class project it got so bad I had to get the doctor called immediately. I  spent a few days in my room not being able to walk. 

    It was getting to the point where it was questioned whether or not I could continue on with the trip. Yet, those who know me, know that I don't back down easy. It wasn't until the last day of Paris, I had already began walking incredibly slow and I didn't want anyone to be bothered with my difficulties. Therefore, after eating a croque sandwich  I was to spend the day alone and take the Metro to the Shakespeare's company. 

   I couldn't make it down the steps of the Metro.  I sat on the steps just having the physical feeling of defeat. Two security guards came rushing in to help me, despite the fact that they didn't speak English and I don't speak French. Moments later I was rushed to the Emergency Room  in an ambulance. I thought I was only going to stay in the hospital for a night, but I stayed for six days leaving behind my friends, London, and the past and future experiences. 

   It wasn't my ideal situation to end up in the hospital in Paris. Since this experience is still new to me ( I just got back to America), I am not sure what lessons are to be learned here. All I know is, things happen unexplained, unplanned. I just have to move on from it. I can still say I've been to Paris, which not many people can say. Additionally, I took a lot of pictures and some videos of my Parisian trip that I will gladly share to everyone. Just remember to be positive, if not for you, for someone else. 


     

From Shy to Leadership

Our 1st Bone Marrow Drive!

So, I think I  mentioned it before, but I have started an organization here  at my college. It's called Gators for Sickle  Cell Warriors. I have seriously put most of my attention to it, in fact this is testing my ability to be able to juggle between school projects, assignments, and this organization. It's not easy to be the President (right, Obama?) . I mean being the shy kid all my life I was never elected or even thought to run for anything for student government, let alone the big, bad president position. However, I felt there was a calling for me to do this.

I remember back in high school, looking for a way to feel understood about my illness I ran upon a blog post on sicklecellwarriors.com, The author, Tosin, recalled  her experience of hiding  her sickle cell while in college. She ran into another student who was president of sickle cell chapter in her district, she ran into someone who was unashamed about her illness. It was that moment I questioned why  I was.

From then on, I dreamed that moment would happen to me. Alas, I go to a predominately white university. So not  finding a sickle cell organization at my school wasn't too surprising( although, there are over a hundred organizations to list as of date). That's when I decided that I would just start my own, so in the beginning of the year my plans came to effect, but once I started my anxieties grew.

How do I get people to come to our GBMs? How do  I get my officers to do their job, without being "harsh"? How do we get sponsors?  Create efficient events? Can I still do this?  These were some of the questions I've (and still) asked myself. I have sacrificed my money, fun, sanity, studying, and time for this organization. I'm not saying one should, but I have definitely done more than   I should have at times.

You gotta promote! 

The organization is not where I want it to be as of now, but it has greatly improved. When I look back at the students registering and getting there mouths swabbed to be in the bone marrow registry, or coming back with  exact change to buy one of our handmade bracelets a for Gators for Sickle Cell Warriors, it makes all the stress worth it.

Now I'm m going to get a bit sentimental here, so bare with me! Before this organization, I was truly lost. I did things and I was good at them but it didn't drive me. No enthusiasm, no spark...everyday was just a  continuous blank page  I flipped through endlessly. Maybe a few pictures here or there, but   I would always get back to that blank page.

However, when I am working with Gators for Sickle Cell Warriors, I realize my passion. I want to work hard for the unheard, and the weak. Now us sickle cell warriors are not weak, but I'd be lying if I said they weren't enough advocacy going on for us.

How to Be Confident with Jaundice Eyes

I write this article on a bad day. I have sickle cell as I've stated before and with all the emotional and physical pain that comes along with it jaundice is one of the consistent problems I have. Today I came in late for class and missed a much needed quiz to boost up my grade, I encountered two of my classmates avoiding me despite the fact that I was just walking like everyone else and had no intentions of talking to them anyway. In addition to that, I forgot my money to buy sushi, an energy drink and embarrassingly walked out of the store  with my lunch left behind at the counter. I know these all seem trivial compared to the  chaos that goes on in the world.

However these mishaps seemed to flood my mind as  I drove back home. So when I hopped on my laptop in my room and searched "how to be confident with jaundice eyes, " I was looking for reassurance.  There needed to be  something to kick me out of the funk, to know that everything would be okay, and yet I got nothing. The same emotion that surrounds my inner thoughts come attacking. It's the same disappointing feeling I get when I Google "makeup for jaundice eyes," or dare I type "how to cure jaundice".

I've been dealing with this tug of war since  middle school. When will I just accept my fate? I know that my  life wouldn't drastically change if I woke up suddenly with milky white eyes. However, it would be nice to be able to look at someone in the eye, without awkwardly looking away. Or have someone understand how you feel.

This is just me being dramatic I assume, I mean I know about the man with no arms and legs who just got married and now has a child. However, sometimes I can't help but to think these stressful reminders. In our world, we often ban this thinking as  if it were a selfish thing to do: talking about your problems.

Yes, I write this article on a bad day. So, maybe tomorrow I will feel differently, maybe tomorrow won't be as awful. That's how I have to think to get through this life.

Music Monday: I Am Not My Hair

I recently "big chopped" last week! It was supposed to be after celebrating my two year transition, but that got cut short to 21 months. After taking out my twists I attempted to do a braid out which turned out to be really greasy ( seriously I had to keep going to the bathroom during church to dab away the oil). The style also didn't last too long as it became increasingly  apparent of the two different textures. So, I grabbed my scissors and clipped away. Now I am so happy with my hair do, and it's so much easier to maintain. I will post up a video of my "big chop" soon, but in the meanwhile listen to some India Arie (I know,I know)!

Music Monday!

Happy Monday! I love music it can definetly change the mood of one's day! I will try to do the Music Mondays weekly so here is the very first one!

Nneka-Shining Star

Networking: An Experiment

  It's raining like a hurricane today. I didn't even know it was raining this bad until I got outside, but  since I woke up I had this icky feeling that rainy days give me.  Got to love Florida! Anyway, I've been thinking about what the lady at the career center at my school told me. I went in trying to figure out what internships I could apply for, and she went on about networking.

   I'm shy as I've said plenty times before. I rarely go up to people and just start talking to them. When I'm in class I subconsciously sit in the back where no one is sitting next to me. Sometimes, I feel like I should just introduce myself to someone...however that may just be too spontaneous for me.

  This advisor told me she had a challenge for me. She told me to go up to three people you've never met and introduce yourself. I laughed while she said it. She tried to encourage me and told me to just go for it. Now, that was like three weeks ago, and uh...yeah...I didn't do it.

    Spring break is the week after this one, so this week I will try and take on the challenge. I will just have to look for someone who won't be mean or laugh at me or whatever. It shouldn't be this mind wrecking, but it is for a shy girl. I am just so used to the same familiar interactions. However, I know that in order for me to get a career after I graduate  I will have to network.

SO wish me luck, people! I need to set a date for me to do it, maybe Wednesday. Yeah...well anyway I need to get back to my homework, I have an exam to study for now. Peace!

Obsession with Extroversion and Introversion

 

   I remember when  I was in high school and I found out about the term introversion. The definition of "describing one's interest to itself," (freedictionary.com) described me to a tee. When I learned that I was introverted, and not some weird person who cannot  showcase an overly aggressive personality, I had a sense of relief.  I kept annoying my family talking about introversion, took the Myers-Brigg Type Indicator test (INFP baby!), and read blogs about introversion while acting out my introversion. Most of the articles on these blogs were about introversion vs. extroversion. How introverts were more intelligent, and they would list all the famous and successful people who are introverted. I didn't mind all the praise, because in this society it's an unwritten rule to be more extroverted.

  When I read another introversion article at Clutch Mag, I asked, "is it too much?" I think that it's great to know what type of personality you have as it can answer a lot of questions. However, in the past I would try to make career decisions, and  determine my college major  based on my personality. I would also make social decisions based on my personality, more specifically my MBTI, and it was just self-restricting. I told myself I couldn't do this or I am better  at this. What happened to "you can do whatever you put your mind to."

  I am a Telecom major and while I like production, and behind the scenes, my mind daddles with the fact that I could be the next Tamron Hall, or Alicia Quarles, heck even Oprah Winfrey! Just because I am introverted, doesn't mean I cannot do extroverted things and vice versa.

   It's coming to the point where introversion and extroversion are becoming labels that limit people. Not one or the other is better. It's just a personality trait!

Skinny vs. Curvy

 

   I hate seeing posts about skinny is in, or curvy is in. It's really stupid,  because I think it confuses people. I'm not sure why, but people have like a mindset where you must think one or the other statement is correct. You can't choose both, or think that all body shapes or equally beautiful, just either or. I am sick of it!

   As a skinny woman, I agree that the media shows a biased opinion of beauty by stating that thinner women are the ideal. At the moment though, the ideal woman will look like Beyonce, or Kim Kardashian. However, why should that equate to bashing skinny people. The whole "women have curves," and all that other mantra that people spew to increase their confidence isn't making the media change their minds. 

You see, we need to tell everyone that they are beautiful, whether their bodies look like a runway model or a pin up model. EVERYONE is beautiful! Stop thinking that a really skinny girl is anorexic, when an overweight girl standing next to her probably just flushed her vomit down in the toilet. 

  There are truths that even the eye can't see, and instead of us women bashing each other, we should all be loving one another ( I would love to see the day that happens).We should tell each other that they're beautiful. Not smirking and saying, "Eeew, she needs to eat!" , or "Wow! Someone needs to lay off those fries!". 

That is when the war against women will stop in the media! We need to make our own rules of beauty, and it won't be a skinny vs. curvy rule. It would be everyone is included rule! 

I hope I make sense, it's just something I have been thinking about lately. I think we as people make things more complicated than it really should be.  We give media too much power, and it sucks!  There needs to be diversity in the images that is presented to us. However, don't expect anyone else to do it, we have to do it ourselves.