My Favorite Moment of the Year Is...!

My trip to Puerto Vallarta! The clock is ticking and that made me reminisce on the moments of this year. I promised that I would upload a video for you all on my experience traveling to Mexico alone in the summer. But like the procrastinator I am, I wait until the last day of the year, wow! Anyway, here it is I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for all those who have read and enjoyed my blog this year and I hope that next year I will blog more and make it the best blog it can be!

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S DAY TO YOU ALL!

A Social Experiment: Friendships

 

  This woman has described my introversion to a tee! I have to post this very short blog post so that everyone can watch this! It is so honest and different from all the popular beauty queens I see on youtube. I'm just glad I am not alone on my thoughts and feelings, and I hope it makes s other introverts feel less alone.

5 Events I Am Grateful For This Year!

                                                                       

  2013 is almost over, and I am very excited for the new year! I am jut going to compile a list of what I am grateful for this year. In the new year I will post what my goals are!!!!!  Even though this year seemed to pass by really fast, there were things I was grateful for!

1. Being accepted into the college I wanted. 

     I was accepted into the college of my choice, and I was very happy because I really worked hard and was determined more than ever! Whenever I don't feel up to it  or lazy, I  think to myself that there are a lot of things I can do if I just work harder!

2. Living in my first apartment!

       I never moved into an apartment before this year. There was a lot of ups and downs ( a lot of downs), but I have to say that I learned to be more independent. I learned a lot about having roommates, leases, and noisy neighbors and that such. I now know what to do next time I look for an apartment.I thank God that I had a place to stay, and another milestone to project me to adulthood. 

3. Making friends! 

    There was a point of time in my life where I literally had no social life. It was just school, volunteer, then go home. As I have stated before I am introverted, and if you haven't read my blog title I am also shy. The shyness has been going away though, and I don't know if it's because local college is different from university or what? But I have made more friends and relationships there than before. I prayed on it and it happened, and I am looking forward to making more relationships next year! 

4. Meeting others with sickle cell! 

       I always would say to myself,  I wish I knew someone with sickle cell! So I guess God heard me because out of nowhere  I was able to go to the Sickle 2k Walk near my university. It was amazing, because  I met people there who are now my friends, and when I was sick in the hospital they helped me out so much and visited me often! It shows that when you are going through something terrible in your life it helps to have a support system around you to reassure you everything will be okay. 

5. My trip to Mexico!

       I can't end this list without mentioning my trip to Mexico! It was my first solo trip, and it was outside of the country. I have to make the video of my trip and post it on youtube! Anyway this  past summer my journey to Puerto Vallarta was fantastico! I had  so much fun and learned along the way. However, I really became independent and overcame my fears and everyone else's fears to go through this trip by myself. I love to travel and want to travel 'till I 'cant no more, and  I didn't let money, people, news, doubts, anything stop me from going. If I did, I wouldn't have the memories that will last  a lifetime!

     There is a lot of stuff I am grateful for God, Jesus my family,and plenty of things! In addition, there will be more to come by believing in the great things God has in store for me! Happy holidays and a happy new year!

I Can Rest Only For a Moment, For With Freedom Come Responsibilities, and I Dare Not Linger, For My Long Walk Is Not Yet Ended

     
                                                                 
                                                                              

     
        Hey guys! Did anyone enjoy there Halloween? I know I'm in college but I didn't go to any of the wild  parties that seemed to be portrayed on Facebook. I just did my homework, and patiently waited until midnight to start writing for NaNoWriMo! I know, it's crazy! I signed up for it years ago, but never really participated at all. I don't know if I will be able to write 50,000 words in one month, but we'll see!

     That was suppose to be the beginning of this post when I wrote it, back in November (and know I did not write 50,000 words in one month). However, the unexpected came along and I was in the hospital for the whole of November. Now it's December and just recently a devastating thing had happened. Nelson Mandela passed away. Nelson Mandela was the person I looked up to, among many preliminary figures, and essentially my hero. Even though he was a 95 year old man with health issues, his death  shocked me and the world. Therefore, this post is now dedicated to him!

     He is one of the few (sadly) who fought with everything they had for his own people, and that should never be forgotten. When I started this post back in November, I was suppose to just update everyone about college life and all that jazz. The main focus was me starting a sickle cell club.

    Since the beginning of the school year, I have been thinking about starting this club.I hope to get everything ready for next year, and just work on this project like I've given birth to it. A lot of people do not know about this illness, so I'm hoping my club will bring those who do not know anything about sickle cell disease. With further knowledge, there will be more pressure into finding something that cure everyone with sickle cell disease.


    I know about the bone marrow transplant, but that doesn't work for all patients. It's like when Nelson Mandela, who wasn't even originally from South Africa, saw the mistreatment of black people there and did something about it. He could have lived somewhere else to be free and ignored the issues, but he didn't.

   There not only needs to be a more efficient cure for this illness, but there has to be enough doctors to know well enough about treating this illness. With my recent appointment with my hematologist, I sometimes feel like these doctors do not know what they are doing at all. In this day in age it's sad to say but there is just not enough good doctors.
 
   Just like Nelson, I am willing to fight for this illness so that no one has to suffer from it in the future. Maybe someday sickle cell would be like what polio is now  in the US. It's sounds crazy now, but I like to dream BIG! I mean Nelson was deemed crazy and a terrorist for wanting the black people in South Africa to be treated equally, and then he became president of their nation!

    I just want to thank Nelson Mandela and all the freedom fighters for inspiring me so much. For I wouldn't dream as BIG! This club is the first step!

   

Facing the Unexpected

                                                   


   I am writing today in pain and fatigue! I haven't written a blogpost in a month! In fact, I haven't been able to finish NaNoWriMo, darn you 50,000 words!  My absence hasn't just been in the blog world and silly novel competitions, but also in school! No, I didn't have a mental breakdown (although college can do that!) But similar to a mental breakdown, it was out of my control.

    At the beginning of the month, I found myself having nurses pierce through my skin in search for that perfect vein, and afterwards seen by numerous doctors in their white coats trying to figure out what ailment had taken over me. All the while confined inside the white walls and with my deprived body depending on IV drips! Lol! I hope you liked my dramatic take on the situation, it makes up for missing NaNoWriMo!


    However, in all seriousnes, I was hospitalized for an entire month, which had never happened to me before(I think!). Anyway, first it was the flu, then it was pneumonia, next it was acute chest syndrome, and finally a vascular necrosis ( where the bones dissolve)  in my hips. It was treacherous for me, mostly because I hate hospitals, the particular one I went to was the worst of all, and I hate missing school! I mean they performed surgery on the patient rooming with me at three AM while I was trying to sleep!


  Anyway, being in the hospital all month meant I didn't have much control over much of  the things I planned, like finishing the semester for example. And like I've said before, you can't always control everything. Which was hard for me to grasp last month. But it's a new month now, I'm no longer in the hospital and I am ready to continue on with my life and finish my goals!  Besides there a people in the hospital who are there much longer, who practically live there, and I am blessed enough to have left that horrid place!

Catching Up: Helping Out the Community & Strutting On the Catwalk

                                                       

                                                             
   Hey everyone!  I haven't been able to post due to being in college, and having to take exams! I know crazy, right? Besides studying, I have been able to get out of my bed and do something for once! Some really important events that happened was that I got involved in a sickle cell 2k walk, and I got to put on my high heels on, smize and strut on the catwalk. 

  I have said before that I have sickle cell disease. While it has been very hard having to deal with sickle cell, I will not allow myself to be a victim or have people feel sorry for me. But instead to spread awareness  of a very debilitating illness.

  A few weeks ago, I was able to go to a sickle cell 2k walk. I did arrive late to the festivities, but I was able to make it just in time for the Barbeque and some soul inducing music (90s music is the best music). As everyone knows I am shy, so it was a bit nerve wrecking to come into a group of strangers. I had asked a few of my friends to come with me, but everyone was busy or sleeping (It was at 8 AM on a Saturday).

  I felt that eyes were on me, but I locked up the tension away, and introduced myself to people and even got the courage to take pictures of some of them. I met sickle cell warriors young and old ( the oldest being 64 I think) which is great, since most warriors have been told they can't live past fifty. Here are some photos:

          

      

    Overall, this was an important event for me not because of the great cause I am supporting, but also because I was able to meet sickle cell warriors my age. I never really had friends that share the same struggles that come along with sickle cell. So it was nice to meet a guy who when I looked into his eyes also have jaundice, the stamp that marks the appearance of sickle cell, and a girl who attends the same college as me and is in a happy relationship.

   The event gave me hope, and it was something that I really needed. Speaking of hope, another important event happened yesterday. A friend of mine is on the fashion committee here at school, and asked me to audition for a fashion show. After making it through the audition, I was selected to be one of the few models for the show. The whole auditioning process was like America's Next Top Model!

   After a few rehearsals, the big day arrived. I was really nervous, but after my makeup and hair was done and I was fit into a dress by the great  designer Raya Kassisieh, that only me and one other girl could fit in, I was ready to put my Naomi Campbell on (whatever that means).  And guess what? I didn't fall, which is great because those were some of the tallest shoes I had ever worn.


                             

         

     When that was done, I soon went into the audience to find my friends and hang out with them, and to my surprise my mother had came to see me. It was nice to chill out with my friends after all the chaos backstage. Literally, a model was dragged on stage with her shirt unbuttoned and  turned sideways. However, the chaos paid off because it felt like I was in New York's Fashion Week and Anna Wintour was sitting in front row.

                                       
   The fashion show was an important event because the morning of , I was very sad and I kept feeling bad about myself, nothing positive was coming into my mind. It just felt like I was carrying a heavy fog around my head. But when I was able to laugh and eat with my friends that night, it seemed to help a lot. Now I'm ready to take on whatever circumstances that happen, and hope that I can just be positive no matter what...after I finish studying!

Pink Hair!

Fierce!  source: http://prettyblackpastel.tumblr.com

   I am thinking of dying my hair pink, a purplish pink.I have been transitioning for 15 months now, and if I were to big chop my hair it will be dyed pink. I was thinking about it once I stepped into the steamy shower this morning, while droplets of water were beating my skin.

    I instantly thought of myself dancing in one of those edgy commercials where the product is  skinny jeans, and I am surrounding by tall, gorgeous people dancing to rock music. My hair sways to the left than to the right. My painted lips snarling here and there, and I just don't care anymore. No more worrying about what others think of me, or slaving to others expectations.
 
      It's just me and my pink hair, studded stilettos,punk shades and my punk attitude. People wouldn't know what to do with me anymore, they'd think I lost my marbles. In response I would get a septic nose ring and tattoo my knuckles.

     Two years ago, I craved for red hair a year afterwards it was blonde. The most I've ever done to my hair was have a burgundy gloss. Inside my habitual crevice, my hair was the same black color since birth, but out into the sunlight  my hair grew into a red aura.

    When I hopped outside of the shower and changed into my jeans and t-shirt, I felt uncomfortable. I sat in my chair unsure what my next move would be. My thoughts changing as fast as a nerve synapse.  Staring at my laptop, I wondered if this draining sensation would  scratch away if I finally did what I wanted to for a change.

From Vacay to School Days

     Hey everyone, I haven't posted in a long time! As most might know school season has started! Yay? As posted, I recently transferred  schools hours away from my home. I moved into my new apartment where I have two roommates who are both freshman.  At first it was a good bonding experience when they invited me to dance the night away, but later on their niceness was misunderstood and now  things are quite awkward around here.

      As for school, my classes are okay so far but I already have exams in two weeks! I hope I can excel in them, my biopsychology and statistic courses I will need to work hard on, but yeah it's alot different from a local college that's for sure.

    However, I am doing something I thought I would have a hard time doing--making friends. I am introverted as it has been established, but I also have a sprinkle of shyness mixed in me. It's hard sometimes especially being a transfer student where everyone in  your year has already created friendships. My advice although, it seems cliche, is to talk to people. Have a question?  Ask that person seated next to you. Most likely they won't ignore you, and then you can start asking them what their major is, their year, talk about events, ect. This information won't guarantee a connection but at least you'll start somewhere.

   I did this in my biopsychology class and now I have made a friend, and that friend has introduced me to her friends--sooner or later I've gotten  invited to parties and outings.  While this is has been a blessing as I have prayed on it before, be careful on what you wished for. Going out and having fun is amaze balls, but in college there needs to be a balance between work and play.

  For example, because there isn't homework assigned (except for my Statisitics class) I haven't been studying as much for my classes, and now I have exams in two weeks. So don't be afraid to decline an invitation, for those who are in college.   Speaking of partying, here is a few pictures and videos of my first three weeks here at my new school.

It's crowded up in here!

Group picture after a Hispanic Student Association Event!

Rice and beans mmmm!

Salsa night!

Me after church!

Labor day outing at the Springs!

My first time here!

 

 

                               The Sabor Latino Dance Team performed at the HSA event! Fiiire!


SO yeah that is the summary of my few weeks being here! College can be fun, and not all about cramming for exams! Right? Isn't that what life should be about?  Anyway, I'll be posting more about events going around while I'm here in college. Until then, see you later! 

New School, New You?

                                           

Source: silodrome.com

    Every year as summer goes back into hibernation and Fall peaks out from under its covers, I dream that things will change for the better. However that feeling of expectation is similar to the dreadful sensation of making a New Year resolution. I shout to the universe my requests of having  more friends, more social outings, dates, ect. Instead, I find myself repeating the same year (insert emoticon).

      I am going to a new school, a huge new school and I am terrified. Terrified of failing to the point that I might have panic attacks. Usually at this point of time, I would be meticulously making lists of things to buy, making up a skin care routine, and practicing my conversation skills in front of the mirror. This time around, however, I figure what's the point? Those things don't change who I am, and no matter how old I get, or where I live. I will continuously be surrounded by the same life situations.

                                                         

It's that time of the year, again...

      It's just life. I think what I had been doing wrong this entire time was expecting for my surroundings to change, new school, new change. But that's not how it works. The world isn't perfect, no matter how much of a good person I think I am. Life has it's setbacks, I just have to put my metal armor on and deal with it. It comes with growing up I guess, and now that I've realized it maybe I can start to change.

    Maybe, with less expectations I won't get depressed? No, I just can't do that. I am a dreamer, there's not a second that goes by where I don't close my eyes and fantasize a paradise surrounded by a pink fuzzy haze . I cannot let Life tell me what to do, instead I must tell Life what it will do. And to show Life that I am being serious, I will compile a list of things to remind my self throughout the year.


17 Things to Remind Myself Throughout the Year! 

• Tell yourself affirmative words.
• Smile, even when you don't want to.
• Make your own crowd, don't follow.
• Talk to more people, humans aren't as scary as they seem.
• Speak up more, you have interesting things to say.
• Ask for help! 
• Write more, it's therapeutic. 
• Join lots of clubs and activities to keep yourself from drowning in school work.
• Don't beat yourself up too much.
• Read a lot more self-help books. 
• Don't compare yourself to anyone.
• Realize you are more than your mistakes, continue to count your blessings!
• Hang out with people who respect you.
• Continue to build up your strengths.
• Don't just wallow in bed (unless reading a good book) do something you love.
• Take a break, and take care of your health.
• Keep blogging! 

   Here is my list of seventeen things to remind myself throughout the year. Basically I am changing my outtake and not necessarily all of the situations this year...we'll see how that goes.  Any suggestions? They're welcomed! 

Transitioning: Wash day!!

Source: blackgirllonghair.com

     So I have been transitioning my hair from relaxed to natural for  thirteen months! Yeah! Whoo hoo!  It hasn't been easy at all. I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more, but here I am now! What has changed the most (besides my hair texture) is my hair routine. For the past year I have been changing up my hair routine, to see what works best , and the routine I currently have makes my hair so soft!!

    So this is my hair before I wash it. It was an old braid out that's dirty and dry.

I decided to deep condition my hair before I wash it, which is something i have never really done before. I lightly damped my hair and detangled it thoroughly, then I put my hair into four braids while I condition them. 

Putting my dry hair into four parts.

 

Here's my hair wet, you can see the stringy ends attached. And my hair is like a reddish brown due to the henna.

      

                                                 
                                                                           

              I used the Shea Moisture' s Deep Treatment Mask and I added some Jamaican castor oil I got from a Caribbean market to it.  I think I got ripped off, because the bottle is the size of my palm and it costs $ 3.99!  Anyway, since it was late at night and I was tired, I decided to deep condition over night. However, I wouldn't do nightly deep conditions in the future because it can weaken the hair and cause it to break easily. 

    Next, I woke up the next morning, and I washed out my hair still in the four braids (but made it looser) with Kera Pro Restorative shampoo. It has sulfates, so choose another Shampoo that is sulfate free like Tresemee! 

 

       I then dry my hair with an old t-shirt and let it air dry. Usually I plan my wash days on days I have nowhere to  go, therefore I can just read and wait until my hair is  dry and ready to style. To stretch it I will moisturise with a leave-in conditioner and then braid my hair.  

   The number of braids depends on what I feel like, whether it's four braids, sixteen braids, cornrows, whatever! Then I will put some rollers at the end of my hair because I am transitioning, and keep it in for six hours or until the next morning to reveal the pleasant surprise my hair has undertaken.

So here are the (usual) results. And I love it, because it's fun, flirty, and soft to the touch.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

    

Update!

Hey guys! I haven't posted in such a long time. That's because I was too caught up in my solo trip to Mexico. I will be posting soon, and I am planning on making a video of my six day journey in Puerto Vallarta. Stay tuned! :)

Unfriending Facebook Friends

   I have more Facebook friends than I actually have in real life. After the Trayvon verdict was read I cried. I was surprised that I cried, because I had a feeling the verdict would read "not guilty" with how the case was poorly presented. But the emotions were too strong to hold inside.Therefore, I decided to take action by signing the NAACP petition and sharing it on Facebook for those to read and sign as well.

   Well, I couldn't help but to scroll down and see what everybody's  reaction was  to the verdict. Well I scrolled down to a girl  I used to hang out with in high school, who I remember as kind of a funny person. She posted #teamzimmerman on her timeline! She even got 28 likes for it, which is saddening. I was flabbergasted that someone would post such an insensitive thing. I know she is white but that doesn't mean you have the incapability to not post such a horrendous thing even if you believe it!  Then and there I just wanted to delete my facebook, because she wasn't the only one who thought Zimmerman had the right to kill an unarmed teenage boy. Instead I commented on her post to tell her why there was no justice in this trial, but I learned a valuablue lesson: Don't argue with fools!

 Here are the captions of the mess: The girl is in black everyone else is in red. 

                                        

My last comment (The rest of it said God Bless you)! 

   She proceeded to say that her niece is half black causing her niece to be considered only black, and that same equation applies to Zimmerman thanks to the one drop rule used in slavery . Thankfully, other Hispanics posted that Latinos can be racist to black people making it definitely a race issue, but she continued on with her ignorance, and I realised that this argument was pointless. Consequently, I  unfriended her and anyone else that had agreed with her. It was hard knowing that someone I had joked, hung around, and had a sleepover with was this person, but I thank God I know now so I can cut her out.

   We tend to keep Facebook friends even though we haven't talked to them in ages I guess to compete with who's more popular. That's why I am seriously thinking of just deleting it. I mean maybe I'll need it for networking, but for what else? I don't really care about where they're vacationing at, or who broke up with who? I'm not in high school anymore.

How To Relieve Stress!

   Stress is that pounding indicator, that comes knocking through your door waiting for you when you are just about to reach the peak of happiness. So why not pour out the stress  from our bodies, so we can paint a better picture of  our goals and life plans. Here I compiled a list that helps me when I am stressed, and if you haven't, should try as well.

                                                 

    Source: learningmeditation.com

1. Meditate

     I remember at sixteen-years-old first hearing about meditation and how it can relieve stress, pain and anxiety. I went inside my room, shut the door, turned off the television, silenced my phone, sat on the floor with my legs crossed, closed my eyes and then deeply inhaled and exhaled. I started chanting "Om" breiflly before my sister, talking profusely on the phone next door, interrupted me.

     My eyes went wide open and I stormed into my sister's room. I yelled, "I told you I was going to meditate, you're being too loud!" My sister apologized sarcastically, and I went back into my room to start  meditating again. Then the smoke alarm started to chirp loudly as a result of the batteries needing to be changed! I was frustrated, but continued to close my eyes and chant "Om" but it didnt last long. I got hungry at the thought  of  tender cheeseburgers awaiting me, and decided that five seconds was enough!

    Now after reading Iyanla Vanzant's book, One Day My Soul Opened Up, I realized that meditating isn't about being surrounded by the peaceful sounds of the ocean waves on the beach (although it would be ideal). It's about blocking the outside noise and stress and becoming center with the universe! Now I can meditate with the fan blaring and the smoke alarm chirping (I really need to change those batteries), and if I can do that I can relieve any stress I'm having.

Source: myfaithcoach.org

2. Pray

    Like most people that are forgotten to be acknowledged,  I over think and it can effect with the tasks I need to do and my emotions!  I remember one time I was visiting my older cousin in Philadelphia, and I told her I was stressed out about going to college and finances. She told me to just pray, and that it works for her all the time. My cousin is pretty smart, graduating from Oxford University, but I kind of questioned her logic here. It just seemed too simple--prayer. However, it's not just clasping your hands together and closing your eyes and saying ,"Hello there God!" It's actually believing and having faith that things will come into fruition. That whatever you are going through shall pass!

       I sound corny and all, but the sense of believing that situations will turn out okay makes you a more positive human being. Soon you will start attracting positive events and people. God listens to us even when it feels like He doesn't sometimes, just ask and you shall receive. If it wasn't for prayer I wouldn't have been ale to get out of some circumstances in the past.

                                                                       

Source: glamqoutes.com

3. Joy

     When I ask people what they want most out of life, the answer is usually happiness. I don't know anyone that doesn't want to be happy. While happiness is great and all,  it usually is an emotion dependent on a tangible thing. Sometimes we can be happy or we can get mad and sad, why is that? Because happiness is a reaction to something. A reaction to getting a new car, a great job, friends, a relationship, clothes, and multitudes of other things. But what happens when we lose all those things, should we give up on life? No!

       Joy, is a feeling inside of you that never goes away. Regardless of what is stressing you out, you need to  have joyful, by being grateful of what you do have for now. Because it encourages you to know that things will turn out alright. Unlike happiness, joy is intangible and isn't the result of the good days or even the bad days, but a result of good things to come.

                                             

Source: colipera.com

4. Do Nothing!

    Ugh!!! I am stressed beyond belief I just feel like pulling the hairs out of my scalp! Really, you are? Well than sit down on that chair and just relaxed. Much like meditating doing nothing can really help me out when I am stressed. Having an illness like sickle cell anemia, has helped me to realize that I need to take the time out of the day and just relax my body. In this world, people can over work themselves and that can lead to stress. Before you know it you've ended up in a hospital bed with IV fluids running through your veins.

      Now if you are those perfectionists who laugh at the thought of sleep, you can still do nothing for at least ten minutes! Do your nails, eat a tub of organic ice cream, browse online, take a nice walk, how about a nap? When you take the time to give your body and mind a rest you will be more productive during the day and can actually think clearer.


      I stopped at four, because like I just advised you guys I am going to rest my mind a little lol. Of course, I will be back to add more to this list, but until then Om Namah Shivayah to you all!

Tumblr-http://misskemi.tumblr.com/
Instagram- kemz247

Introvert vs. Improv

    As every American knows Independence Day was on Thursday. While most headed out near the spacious lakes, hearing the raw slabs of ribs sizzling on the grill, and gasping at the colorful displays of the fireworks with their loved ones, I decided to take an Improv  class. My parents are Nigerian, so the  4th of July isn't something they plan to celebrate like most Americans. So, since the 4th of July is kind of a family affair, I figured that taking this Improv class would give me something to do instead of laying on my bed all day.

    Now, I am kind of shy, I speak very low, and crowded places are something that I try to avoid if possible. So why the heck would I consider even going to this Extrovert's Haven? Because this blog is about me going from shy to confident 'tis why! What better way  to pull out from my shell, than an improv class? So let me set the scene for you.

   I arrive at 7 PM, after fighting floods and hurricanes to get there, thankfully it was fairly close to my house. I open the door to a small bar where people are sitting around grabbing a drink. At this point, I'm thinking I'm at the wrong place or that I arrived (although on time) early. So I do what was comfortable at the time and sit down next to a mahogany table and start scrummaging through tumblr. I hear voices from my left ear and see that behind a patterned curtain there is a chubby guy talking  and whispering to a group of people. I think they are talking about me, which makes me uncomfortable.

   Then, I figure that's probably where the meeting is going to be, so I walk in and say, "Is this the improv class?" The chuby guy looks at me and says, "No, it's over at Tijuana Flats!" Embarrassed I head out of the curtains and then he starts laughing along with everyone else there, and tells me he was just joking and to come back.  I laugh but I feel dumb, then we all form a circle in the area. There's about eleven of us, and they all just start clapping at each other. I am looking around like, what is this? When a guy with large hands and glasses claps his hands at me, I get nervous but I only messed up a few times in this very choreographed clapping scheme.

    When we started to play a word game, is when I  realized the chubby guy is the leader of this class and makes up the rules of the game. In the game we all picked a word from one subject,  "i.e fruits", after saying what fruit we pick, "ie: grapes", one points to someone else and they say their fruit and point to someone else. This continues until everyone has been chosen. After everyone has said their fruit, we all have to remember our fruit and who we pointed to whom. I was good at the game for my first try, to my surprise. I even caught myself smiling as the game got harder juggling three different subjects around.

    But then, we all had to face each other making two rows. One person from that  row would say a random word, and the other person across from them  would have to quickly say a word that comes to mind. This was hard, because one of the reasons why I am quiet, is because I like to think before the first syllable  parts from my lips. During this challenge I kept saying umm and the leader, let's call him Mark (yeah I know I finally gave him a name), would come to me and me only and tell me to stop thinking. I felt that he was growing frustrated with  me, and it made me realize that my awkwardness was too bright almost  a ghastly bright orange in a middle of cool blues. I did start to get better though, and that's when the challenge ended and the next one began.

The stage!

    After another word game, we went upon the stage where we split into two groups: actresses vs. screenwriters ( I was on team actresses). Basically two people from each group took parts  being the who and where and what. Every time it was my turn to improvise a scene Mark would tell me to speak up, or stop fidgeting your fingers, stop giggling! But I couldn't help it! I didn't like the stage part, although I got a few laughs, it just made me highly aware and awkward in front of the few people that were watching me. I didn't know if I was doing a scene right or if I just looked entirely stupid.  After each scene, I just kept over thinking what I should have done differently. However, that's just Improv, you can't really change the past scene you just have to move on and  work on the present scene.

    When the two hour session ended, I was relieved. I admit that something that I was quite excited for turned out to be a bit of a disappointment in terms of improvement. Maybe, I'm just negative or I can be a bit of a perfectionist at times. But, like I said before I just felt that I could have done better. I thought that after this session, I would feel confident with my head held high smiling, but I did not.  On the plus side though, I did get a few laughs during the session, I think what I learned from Improv, is that confidence takes time and practice. It's not just a one shot thing, even those with confidence have to make an effort to maintain it. Also, life can be like Improv, you have to forget the things you've messed up in the past and work on now!  So two points for trying out this shindig!

       P.S-- The day after July 4th the community where I live in decided to showcase fireworks so here's some pics!

P.P.S- I have an instagram now, so please follow me @kemz247!

My First Meetup!

    Hello everyone, I am trying my hardest to be confident and I try to do this by doing The Self-Esteem Workbook and getting out more! I am introverted, more specifically an INFP ( Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving) it is an MBTI personality thing. But yeah basically I generally prefer to be alone.  I still  enjoy people, and being alone all the time is kind of sucky and not just something that society will downcast on.
 
   So, during the summer while I love that there is no school and getting a job seems to be impossible now that I'm moving in less than two months, I am a lot more lonely now than I was before. Instead of beating myself up that I lost my friends, I decided to join a meetup group. I have been hearing about meetups since last summer, but last weekend I finally had the courage to join and it was fun!

    All five of us went to make chocolates, and since the location was familiar I decided why not I love chocolate! I was scared at first because I did not know what to expect. But after the initial meeting and getting to know everyone my shyness eased out a bit! We all went to eat dinner at a Chinese/Turkish restaurant where I ate chicken jasmine fried rice, and I got to know the Chinese couple, the guy from Hawaii, and the two white best friends. The only downside was that they were all older and starting their in their careers, while I'm still in undergrad, nevertheless we all laughed and joked with each other which is all that matters.

Source: chettyskitchen.blogspot.com--This is similar to what I ordered.

          After receiving our checks, it was straight to the chocolate factory where we joined the couples party  and  had fun making pounds of chocolate. I must have not been listening to the instructor though, because my chocolate came out like crap. However, she said that you can eat your chocolate in the dark, but I am going to show you my horrible looking chocolate  anyway!

Look at that sexy chocolate!

White chocolate fish with marshmallows!

Truffle heart with white chocoalte on the bottom!

More truffles!

         

Just a touch of coconut and graham cracker crumbs!

chocolate chips!

   The fourth picture on the bottom is suppose to be a chocolate molding of a prize ribbon. Anyway, even though it costs $22 for a pound of chocolate, it's well worth the mouth-watering chocolate in my mouth. With that being said,  this will not be my last meetup  and I will continue to take risks and get out of my shell this summer.

 

                                                                     Stay tuned!