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| Source: www.hugloo.com/poem-on-life-oh-my-life/ |
stand out like I did (super tall and super skinny) you tend to be outcasted. So when college decisions came about I really did not want to attend. I instead sought for something else---modeling! I never in my wildest dreams thought I could be a model, models look like Tyra Banks and Cindy Crawford not curve-less ladies like myself. But soon people kept telling me I should model, and after school instead of looking at colleges online my mouse wandered over to local modeling agencies and fashion blogs. I would practice my walk and poses striving to be the next Chanel Iman or Jourdan Dunn. But what I really wanted was to fit in, I heard stories of the awkward lanky girl suddenly becoming the next Giselle overnight and I wanted that to be desperately me. To come into school and laugh at all those who teased me for my looks and say "Hah! What now!" Well my senior year was almost up, and after not getting signed to any modeling agencies I discovered that I needed to go somewhere. I DID NOT want to stay in my town, where for years I felt miserable I wanted to live in NYC, the city of freaks, so I can fit in somewhere because I need to fit in somewhere! So the only school that I got accepted to was SCAD, I thought, "hey, they're artsy kids like myself, it's not NYC, but hey maybe I'll fit in, why not?" WRONG! I was miserable and was teased and bullied worse than in high school. I was also more hospitalized, had more sickle cell crisis, and a cop had hit and tarnished my car to death.
After a year I had to leave to save my sanity and enrolled in my hometown's local college much to my dismay. However, I did much better I got into the Dean's list several times ( President's list twice), joined my literary magazine, I am transferring to either the Univesity of Florida or the University of Miami (the top colleges in my state), and I finished my last term with straight As.
I am not a fashion model traveling around the world, and living it up in NYC but I still am living my life. People still make fun of me whether or not I am on campus or shopping for groceries, but whether I was a fashion model or a college student wouldn't make so much of a difference with my daily interactions of others. Haters 'gon hate! Basically, the good things in life don't always come from where you are, where you live, what your job is but who you are as a person.
While being a beautiful fashion model sounds tempting ( and who knows, I'm still young maybe I still have a chance), there are horror stories of eating disorders, cramped model apartments, short career, being away from loved ones, the list goes on. I can still live my dreams, I can still travel, live in NYC, and while fitting in isn't at the top of my list right now, there could be a group of people that will accept me for the dorky, skinny, "freak" that I am.
Just remember, there is always someone who wishes they where you and is doing worse than you. You may have a plan for your life, but God has a better plan for you always!
