Books to Read!

   Hey everyone! I have been a little down for a couple of days, but I hope you all had a Merry Christmas or Chanukah or Kwanzaa! Christmas isn't the same like before when I was little kid staying up all night waiting for Santa to bring me presents. However, I still love to sing Christmas songs and make desserts, and ven though it's too late to gift anyone with a Christmas gift the new year is still approaching. For the new year I would love to change my outlook on life to be more positive, and I would also love to change some of the bad habits in life.

  I have been reading two books that are actually helping me do that. These books can ensure that for the new year you can have more results in regards to living a more confident life.

                                          The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi
                                       

     Sometimes, or most likely shyness comes from the lack of self-esteem and I feel like everyone (shy or not), should have this if they have been feeling down about themselves, and if they are suffocating their mind with  negative affirmations. Having self-esteem to me is like when superman wears his cape, it is the final thing we need to make it in life to know that we all have something special and unique that will benefit others. I am not finish with this book yet, but so far it has been helping me with taking care of my self from the inside and out. Also it has fun-filled activities that keep anyone interested in reading. I am not working for this company, just a happy reader and you can get it here on Amazon.


    One Day My Soul Just Opened Up: 40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth by Iyanla Vanzant


                          
     Some of you may know Miss Iyanla from the OWN' s series Iyanla: Fix My Life, well this is  the same remarkable woman who wrote this inspirational book. I have never seen an episode of her show, but this book was requested for me and I am glad it was. I have mention this book before, and it is a book that is suppose to be read in 40 days. I think you will find that each day you read it you soul will in fact open up more an more each time. It is for those who are stuck in whatever trouble they are in and substantial help, which this does. I was skeptical at first because I have read books similar to this, and while I feel better after reading it over the course of time I tend to lose that uppity spirit and become my old negative self. However, this book is different because although it is there to help you, it reminds you that you are the one that needs to put in the effort to feel better about yourself. Also the author has felt the way her readers felt, and I can truly tell when I read this her methods has helped her and it will help me.


     So those are the books to read now, and I will leave you with a healthy brownie recipe that is made with sweet potatoes!!! It actualy tastes good!

The last one!

 The recipe

Natural Hair: Transitioning



That's my hair guys!



           I am transitioning to natural hair from relaxed hair. I wanted to transtition since I watched that "special" episode of The Trya Show about natural hair. Does anyone remember the theme song? "I'm coming out! Tyra! Tyra!" Anyway, that was when I was in high school but I was too scared to go natural because I thought that if  I were to go natural I would have to chop all my hair off! I don't know about anyone else, but I don't look good with  short hair--I think.  You see I was the girl with "good hair" my hair has always been long since I could remember ( even reaching to my butt) and I remember when I was in the fourth grade, and some ghetto child argued with me about my hair on the school bus.

    She turned around and opened her big mouth "Yah hair is a weave! That can't be yah hair!" I was peeved then, but I laugh at it now because although it was the hair growing out of my head it wasn't the texture God gave me. And since my hair was relaxed at a very young age (since 5) I could understand her confusion now. But anyway, that is why I am transitionining because I think it's weird that I am in college now and I do not even remember my own texture. And growing up in the late 90s and early 00s I realize that this is the case for a lot of African-American woman.



Me as a kid

                       
                                                  
   Now six months earlier I was looking at the website blackgirllonghair.com and I was amazed at all the glorious crowns that the natural-haired woman were wearing and I wanted my own glorious crown. So, without hesitation I decided to just not relax my hair that week like I was supposed to and now fast-forward to today, I am still happy about my decision. I can't stop touching the different ringlets of coils, kinks, and curls that are my hair. I wish I was always natural but this experiece, although hard at times, has made me appreciate my own set of curls.

   What other race can say they have African-American hair? So why, should we be ashamed of it? Because of what the media depicts as beautiful? Please! I dont care what anyone says my hair is unique and I rather have this hair then any of  those models in the before-and-after hair commercials. Now, I have been transitioning for six months now, and I would like to make it to a year at least.

    I used to think transitioning meant cutting inches off every month, but some don't and even transition for three years and don't cut off any of it until the "big chop".  I'm not saying that's the correct way but instead of cutting off as I go, I am trimming my hair. So far my only problem is that my hair has different textures all over, and my hair in the sides seem longer than the hair in the back. Hopefully, I will henna my hair tomorrow for the first time and see if it will my make my hair stronger and promote more hair growth. Now, let me go back to my nasty habit of feeling my kinks, coils, and curls.

Thanks for reading, and share please!


    

What is Beauty?

                                      
    Hello, guess what? The Mayans were wrong, which is  spectacular depending on who you ask. I just recently read an article on The Frisky titled "Mirror, Mirror: You ARE Pretty Enough to Find Love". It is all about accepting yourself and not worrying about being "beautiful" because there is a type of love for everyone. You know, all the stuff our elders try to teach us. However, I have been reading Iyanla Vanzant's book "One Day My Soul Just Opened Up" and it is a daily self-help book that is meant to be read in 40 days. I am on my sixth day, and the day is titled Creativity.I don't want to give you too much details, but   in this chapter I learned that I can always change my mind.

         I have always had a very negative way of thinking, maybe I inherited that from my dad. Anyway, this negative thinking stems mostly from my physical looks. You see I have sickle-cell anemia, which is a serious illness. It  can cause me to get physically weak,  have excruciating pain and has caused me to spend most nights in the hospital as a child.

      Besides the frequent hospitalizations I received, I had a creepy,green, slimy appearance that used to make me shudder whenever I saw it. It was in the whites of my eyes, you know, the ones that people first notice in other and it's called jaundice. Jaundice appeared right in middle school ( not a good place to start), and I remembered the guy I had a crush on back then make fun of my  eyes and it caused me to cry severely in front of him. I also remembered  in my last years of high school some kid would always ask me if I had drugs. It wasn't in a nice way, but very harsh and taunting. Those weren't the only two, for other followed suit and made sure I always new my eyes were a yellow greenish color.

                                    
      I never understood why people made fun of me, I was shy (still am)  but very nice to others. However, in those years of bullying I stood up for myself once, which resulted in a fight. But other times I just stood there taking my parents advice, which was ignoring them, but it did not help at all. So I thought that I soon as a graduated from high school that there would be more mature people and bullying will have no avail.

     I was wrong in fact the first year of college was spent worrying about what others were thinking of me. I still get teased and bullied, in fact the other day I was at Walmart and someone busted out laughing saying that "I look like a stick" . But guess what? It doesn't bother me now. Because I have a positive mind that loves every inch of me. It's hard, and it is not overnight that you will wake up loving yourself like that. I still struggle from time to time, but I just pray to God to hinder my negative thoughts and to love everyone instead of hating everyone and everything like before, and it helps.

Speak Up!

           
    I am quiet. So quiet that apparently others don't realize when I am speaking. I am better at expressing myself in words, because I am in fact very shy. Also when I do try to voice out my opinions I notice people leaning in with their ears, and as soon as I let out my first word a sharp interruption occurs. "Can you speak up?" "Woah! Your voice is low!" "Not trying to be mean but..." "I still can't hear you!" Now to most people the simple solution to this problem is to speak up, but ever since I was in elementary school, I have found that to not be so simple. I don't want to feel like I am yelling at the top of my lungs, but I also do not want to be so quiet that only a dog can hear me.

    Thanks to the internet, you can find and learn many things regardless if it is successful or not. I have typed in how to be speak louder to cure my soft-spoken voice, and there are good tips. I learned to speak from my diaphragm and to open my mouth like I am trying to eat an apple whole when speaking. However, these tips do not magically cure my soft voice, in fact I think it is hereditary, for my mother also has a soft-spoken voice.

     Anyway, why should I care if my voice is too soft? Who cares, right? Well, I do because it is affecting my life. I got denied a fast-food job because of it, they said that I had a great personality and  all but the golden voice that would ensure  I can satisfy all the customers with their greasy food orders . It has also affected my social life, because I am afraid that if I start speaking to someone that my voice would be so low that person will unintentionally ignore me. I am not imagining it or being dramatic, because it has happened before and it is incredibly embarrassing.
 
           That is why I need to help myself, and I know I can do it. I don't spend the day taking to most people, but I do want to. I also know I can be loud I have gotten angry, and have yelled several times during my teenage angst. So now that the new year is coming, and I will be starting a new semester of college here's my solution: think of what makes me angry so I can go out in full rage and it will instantly allow me to speak louder. On a serious note, the real solution is to just keep doing not "trying" to speak louder. This post went on longer than I wanted, but I have been struggling with this for a long time and I really just want to stop sounding like a baby and instead sound like a grown woman.

  I wonder if any one else feels this way.

Hi! Let me introduce myself!

    I didn't think I would be blogging again, but whoop-dee-doo I just cant get my sticky fingers out of this keyboard. Anyway, I just recently have been trying really hard, and I mean really hard to become the better person I need to be. I am in college now and will soon be venturing out to the unknown (the real world), and I need to learn survival skills in order to remain sane. It is weird for me to be this vulnerable online, but I guess  my mission is not only to help myself, but to help anyone that's reading this that they are not alone. So I will be documenting my journey to become a confident gal, so that I wont be so scared of the big bad world and so that I can live the life I really want.