A Little Inspiration: Just Do You!

     “I want to do it all!” I declare to myself while taking a dump in the toilet (sorry, was that too much for you?) I want to blog, I want to vlog, I want to make films, I want to… I want to learn computer coding? Yes, computer coding! You see I have a lot of plans for myself, it may look like I am a confused twenty-something who doesn’t know what she wants but what’s wrong with that? Tyler Perry once said, “Put all of your energy into watering one area. If you spread the water across many, many seeds you don’t have as much water for one seed. So focus on one thing, make it your priority and stick with it no matter what.” Well then why do people garden, Perry? Why have one beautiful flower when you can have a garden full of azaleas, some petunias, daisies, hell, throw some basil in there as well. The more I do what I want and learn different tasks, the more I learn about myself and abilities. 

    You see, I’ve always had a problem picking just one thing to do. I mean, choosing just one major in college for example. If I had more time  I would have double-majored, can you triple-major? I fall in love with anything that fuels my soul. Anything that fizzles out my procrastination and self-doubt, and renews that spark for life is what I crave for.

   

     I realize that wanting to do many things at once can becomes daunting. However, humans are multi-faceted, so it makes sense that most would have many different passions in life. If you are a lawyer, but you want to create a fashion blog then why not have a stab at it? A screenwriter, who wants to create a game app? Okay, then! Take classes, go back to school, reach out to experts. Do whatever it takes.

   

   Only problem is what happens when the spark seems to dim? When it seems that your passion becomes work, I mean work that you have been too scared to look in the eyes. What happens when your supervisor makes fun of your soft-spoken voice in front of your coworkers? Does that mean you should reconsider making YouTube videos? Or when that big creative script idea you need to become a big hit hasn’t come through yet? Or when you don’t seem to have a lot of followers on a blog you’ve been working on for years? What happens then? Do you stop? Hell no! Wake up! Hard work  just doesn’t happen the old Disney Cinderella way that most of us were taught, but that’s okay because it’s much more fun that way.

  

  My dream is to inspire the self-doubters, the naysayers that dreams do come true. I want people to look at me and say, “If this ordinary girl can do it, so can I.” So what if you have a million ideas, and no one believes in you. At least you believe, and that’s all you need to make your first step. Now, I’m just getting started in this process but when I’m done I’ll let you know how it all turned out.

From Shy to Leadership

Our 1st Bone Marrow Drive!

So, I think I  mentioned it before, but I have started an organization here  at my college. It's called Gators for Sickle  Cell Warriors. I have seriously put most of my attention to it, in fact this is testing my ability to be able to juggle between school projects, assignments, and this organization. It's not easy to be the President (right, Obama?) . I mean being the shy kid all my life I was never elected or even thought to run for anything for student government, let alone the big, bad president position. However, I felt there was a calling for me to do this.

I remember back in high school, looking for a way to feel understood about my illness I ran upon a blog post on sicklecellwarriors.com, The author, Tosin, recalled  her experience of hiding  her sickle cell while in college. She ran into another student who was president of sickle cell chapter in her district, she ran into someone who was unashamed about her illness. It was that moment I questioned why  I was.

From then on, I dreamed that moment would happen to me. Alas, I go to a predominately white university. So not  finding a sickle cell organization at my school wasn't too surprising( although, there are over a hundred organizations to list as of date). That's when I decided that I would just start my own, so in the beginning of the year my plans came to effect, but once I started my anxieties grew.

How do I get people to come to our GBMs? How do  I get my officers to do their job, without being "harsh"? How do we get sponsors?  Create efficient events? Can I still do this?  These were some of the questions I've (and still) asked myself. I have sacrificed my money, fun, sanity, studying, and time for this organization. I'm not saying one should, but I have definitely done more than   I should have at times.

You gotta promote! 

The organization is not where I want it to be as of now, but it has greatly improved. When I look back at the students registering and getting there mouths swabbed to be in the bone marrow registry, or coming back with  exact change to buy one of our handmade bracelets a for Gators for Sickle Cell Warriors, it makes all the stress worth it.

Now I'm m going to get a bit sentimental here, so bare with me! Before this organization, I was truly lost. I did things and I was good at them but it didn't drive me. No enthusiasm, no spark...everyday was just a  continuous blank page  I flipped through endlessly. Maybe a few pictures here or there, but   I would always get back to that blank page.

However, when I am working with Gators for Sickle Cell Warriors, I realize my passion. I want to work hard for the unheard, and the weak. Now us sickle cell warriors are not weak, but I'd be lying if I said they weren't enough advocacy going on for us.

How to Be Confident with Jaundice Eyes

I write this article on a bad day. I have sickle cell as I've stated before and with all the emotional and physical pain that comes along with it jaundice is one of the consistent problems I have. Today I came in late for class and missed a much needed quiz to boost up my grade, I encountered two of my classmates avoiding me despite the fact that I was just walking like everyone else and had no intentions of talking to them anyway. In addition to that, I forgot my money to buy sushi, an energy drink and embarrassingly walked out of the store  with my lunch left behind at the counter. I know these all seem trivial compared to the  chaos that goes on in the world.

However these mishaps seemed to flood my mind as  I drove back home. So when I hopped on my laptop in my room and searched "how to be confident with jaundice eyes, " I was looking for reassurance.  There needed to be  something to kick me out of the funk, to know that everything would be okay, and yet I got nothing. The same emotion that surrounds my inner thoughts come attacking. It's the same disappointing feeling I get when I Google "makeup for jaundice eyes," or dare I type "how to cure jaundice".

I've been dealing with this tug of war since  middle school. When will I just accept my fate? I know that my  life wouldn't drastically change if I woke up suddenly with milky white eyes. However, it would be nice to be able to look at someone in the eye, without awkwardly looking away. Or have someone understand how you feel.

This is just me being dramatic I assume, I mean I know about the man with no arms and legs who just got married and now has a child. However, sometimes I can't help but to think these stressful reminders. In our world, we often ban this thinking as  if it were a selfish thing to do: talking about your problems.

Yes, I write this article on a bad day. So, maybe tomorrow I will feel differently, maybe tomorrow won't be as awful. That's how I have to think to get through this life.

Networking: An Experiment

  It's raining like a hurricane today. I didn't even know it was raining this bad until I got outside, but  since I woke up I had this icky feeling that rainy days give me.  Got to love Florida! Anyway, I've been thinking about what the lady at the career center at my school told me. I went in trying to figure out what internships I could apply for, and she went on about networking.

   I'm shy as I've said plenty times before. I rarely go up to people and just start talking to them. When I'm in class I subconsciously sit in the back where no one is sitting next to me. Sometimes, I feel like I should just introduce myself to someone...however that may just be too spontaneous for me.

  This advisor told me she had a challenge for me. She told me to go up to three people you've never met and introduce yourself. I laughed while she said it. She tried to encourage me and told me to just go for it. Now, that was like three weeks ago, and uh...yeah...I didn't do it.

    Spring break is the week after this one, so this week I will try and take on the challenge. I will just have to look for someone who won't be mean or laugh at me or whatever. It shouldn't be this mind wrecking, but it is for a shy girl. I am just so used to the same familiar interactions. However, I know that in order for me to get a career after I graduate  I will have to network.

SO wish me luck, people! I need to set a date for me to do it, maybe Wednesday. Yeah...well anyway I need to get back to my homework, I have an exam to study for now. Peace!

From Vacay to School Days

     Hey everyone, I haven't posted in a long time! As most might know school season has started! Yay? As posted, I recently transferred  schools hours away from my home. I moved into my new apartment where I have two roommates who are both freshman.  At first it was a good bonding experience when they invited me to dance the night away, but later on their niceness was misunderstood and now  things are quite awkward around here.

      As for school, my classes are okay so far but I already have exams in two weeks! I hope I can excel in them, my biopsychology and statistic courses I will need to work hard on, but yeah it's alot different from a local college that's for sure.

    However, I am doing something I thought I would have a hard time doing--making friends. I am introverted as it has been established, but I also have a sprinkle of shyness mixed in me. It's hard sometimes especially being a transfer student where everyone in  your year has already created friendships. My advice although, it seems cliche, is to talk to people. Have a question?  Ask that person seated next to you. Most likely they won't ignore you, and then you can start asking them what their major is, their year, talk about events, ect. This information won't guarantee a connection but at least you'll start somewhere.

   I did this in my biopsychology class and now I have made a friend, and that friend has introduced me to her friends--sooner or later I've gotten  invited to parties and outings.  While this is has been a blessing as I have prayed on it before, be careful on what you wished for. Going out and having fun is amaze balls, but in college there needs to be a balance between work and play.

  For example, because there isn't homework assigned (except for my Statisitics class) I haven't been studying as much for my classes, and now I have exams in two weeks. So don't be afraid to decline an invitation, for those who are in college.   Speaking of partying, here is a few pictures and videos of my first three weeks here at my new school.

It's crowded up in here!

Group picture after a Hispanic Student Association Event!

Rice and beans mmmm!

Salsa night!

Me after church!

Labor day outing at the Springs!

My first time here!

 

 

                               The Sabor Latino Dance Team performed at the HSA event! Fiiire!


SO yeah that is the summary of my few weeks being here! College can be fun, and not all about cramming for exams! Right? Isn't that what life should be about?  Anyway, I'll be posting more about events going around while I'm here in college. Until then, see you later! 

New School, New You?

                                           

Source: silodrome.com

    Every year as summer goes back into hibernation and Fall peaks out from under its covers, I dream that things will change for the better. However that feeling of expectation is similar to the dreadful sensation of making a New Year resolution. I shout to the universe my requests of having  more friends, more social outings, dates, ect. Instead, I find myself repeating the same year (insert emoticon).

      I am going to a new school, a huge new school and I am terrified. Terrified of failing to the point that I might have panic attacks. Usually at this point of time, I would be meticulously making lists of things to buy, making up a skin care routine, and practicing my conversation skills in front of the mirror. This time around, however, I figure what's the point? Those things don't change who I am, and no matter how old I get, or where I live. I will continuously be surrounded by the same life situations.

                                                         

It's that time of the year, again...

      It's just life. I think what I had been doing wrong this entire time was expecting for my surroundings to change, new school, new change. But that's not how it works. The world isn't perfect, no matter how much of a good person I think I am. Life has it's setbacks, I just have to put my metal armor on and deal with it. It comes with growing up I guess, and now that I've realized it maybe I can start to change.

    Maybe, with less expectations I won't get depressed? No, I just can't do that. I am a dreamer, there's not a second that goes by where I don't close my eyes and fantasize a paradise surrounded by a pink fuzzy haze . I cannot let Life tell me what to do, instead I must tell Life what it will do. And to show Life that I am being serious, I will compile a list of things to remind my self throughout the year.


17 Things to Remind Myself Throughout the Year! 

• Tell yourself affirmative words.
• Smile, even when you don't want to.
• Make your own crowd, don't follow.
• Talk to more people, humans aren't as scary as they seem.
• Speak up more, you have interesting things to say.
• Ask for help! 
• Write more, it's therapeutic. 
• Join lots of clubs and activities to keep yourself from drowning in school work.
• Don't beat yourself up too much.
• Read a lot more self-help books. 
• Don't compare yourself to anyone.
• Realize you are more than your mistakes, continue to count your blessings!
• Hang out with people who respect you.
• Continue to build up your strengths.
• Don't just wallow in bed (unless reading a good book) do something you love.
• Take a break, and take care of your health.
• Keep blogging! 

   Here is my list of seventeen things to remind myself throughout the year. Basically I am changing my outtake and not necessarily all of the situations this year...we'll see how that goes.  Any suggestions? They're welcomed!